I’m recuperating from a crush. You know the feeling. You can’t stop thinking about them, you wonder what they’re doing right now and you daydream that they’re dying to call you. I thought I looked pretty good.

I wore the good shoes and took my fancier pens, and it seemed as if there was… y’know… chemistry. They stood there day after day, all friendly and interesting and sort of twinkly to boot and they made me get a crush on them, even though I’m already in a long-standing relationship.

Funny, how an invitation from a Caribbean medical school can do that to a girl. I was invited to tour their Miami and Dominica campuses — in February — while my regular job stayed home in Canada and got buried in more snow.

Okay, so, I guess it’s not hard to see the beginning of the attraction.

But it didn’t end there. There were campus tours and meetings with fascinating faculty and students from all over the world. There was even some overcoming of adversity (I’m always a sucker for that) as we learned about what it’s like to live in a place where there isn’t a single Tim Hortons or Starbucks (or even reliable electricity). But most of all, there was an incredible community of people who were so passionate about what they were doing that it made me want to join them.

Now, we’ve gone our separate ways and I won’t lie, I’m feeling quite bereft. It’s as if I’ve been dating a pretty hot guy and he also happens to come with a great family. Even though, y’know, officially, I’m already in a committed career relationship here in Canada.

You don’t have to stay in the same job forever, but, my little crush is a prime example of how easily and quickly you can complicate your career. Most students I see don’t have a long-term job that they’re being wooed away from, but they often mess up their career relationships because of a crush, nonetheless.

A most common career blunder is students who accept a job offer (the romantic equivalent of getting engaged) but don’t notify outstanding job applications that they’re now employed (the romantic equivalent of continuing to date while you’re engaged). It happens easily. After all, you have to hedge your bets, right? You apply to more than one job to help increase the odds that someone will want to interview you and hopefully offer you a job. And from there, it’s one small step to drama which can end badly.

Perhaps the outstanding applications look a little more appealing but you don’t want to lose out on a job in hand for a job you don’t know you’ll get. So, you accept the first job but sort of stick it in your pocket and keep going to other interviews or waiting for the call from the other jobs. You might not think it’s a big thing but if you do get offered something by hot job down the street, first job is not going to be happy to be thrown over.

And sometimes that unhappiness has teeth that will bite your career for some time to come. Recruiters in particular fields often know each other. You might want to work for the first organization at some point in the future. You will probably see the first organization at industry events and how awkward will that be? In particularly harsh cases, first organization might actually sue you for reneging on your job offer because you’re breaking a legal contract. It’s like a big ol’ Hollywood divorce and you thought that all you were doing was backing out of a job at Flap Jack Attack.

So, before you accept a job, ask for time to make the decision. Then, weigh the pros and cons. Even though the jobs you are dreaming about look really amazing, it’s important to note that most times, you will rarely be accepting A PERFECT JOB. There are always compromises to make.

Ask yourself: on balance, can I give and gain something from this job that makes it worth pursuing at this time?

Don’t accept a job until you’re ready. And once you do accept it (remember, it’s like getting engaged!), withdraw from the outstanding applications you have out there. There will always be things that look like better options so remind yourself that you are leaving those exciting possibilities intact for the future.

As for me, I have steeled myself against my Caribbean crush by reminding myself of something I hadn’t fully considered while I was dreaming about my hot new, palm tree career: life without Starbucks.

I love my Canadian job.

Christine Fader is a Career Counsellor at Queen's University and the author of Career Cupid: Your Guide to Landing and Loving Your Dream Job.